PHOENIX — Los Angeles Dodgers reliever Alex Vesia slowly walked over, took a deep breath Friday, wiped his eyes, and stared at his cell phone.
For the first time since he and his wife Kayla lost their newborn daughter, Sterling Sol, on Oct. 26, days after being born, he stood in front of a crowd of reporters and spoke for six minutes. He stopped and caught his breath several times, frequently touching his heart He didn’t take any questions, and instead asked for privacy as he and his wife continue to heal.
“The lessons we’ve learned from this is that life can change in an instant,’ Vesia said. “For us, 10 minutes is all it took. Sterling Sol was the most beautiful girl in the world. We got to hold her, change her diaper, read to her and love her. Our time together was far too short … I was not prepared to not bring my baby girl home, but we’re carrying her with us every day.
“Kayla and I will keep those precious moments and memories to ourselves. I hope that anyone listening can empathize and respect our wishes for privacy as we continue to heal and as we navigate the ups and downs of a baseball season.’
“We are beyond grateful to be a part of this organization and this family,’ Vesia said. “So many of you have stepped up and have been there for us in a big way over the past few months, and has meant the world to both Kayla and I.’
He spoke about the healing process including the grief counseling he and his wife have begun six weeks ago, the strength and support the Dodgers organization has given them, the Toronto Blue Jays’ heartfelt gesture during the World Series, and the outpouring of love from all over the the world, including the Los Angeles Rams sending an autographed jersey to them that he plans to frame.
Vesia, who stayed with Kayla and left the team during the World Series, still watched every pitch of all seven games, and was overwhelmed with emotion by seeing that every pitcher in the Blue Jays’ bullpen was wearing his No. 57, his jersey number, on their caps in support.
“They are a first-class organization,’ Vesia said. “Kayla and I just want to say thank you to them. When Kayla and I were watching the World Series, we noticed that there was 51 on Louis Varland’s hat. I immediately texted Gus Varland, his brother, and I asked him if I was seeing that correctly. He texted me back right away, and he said, ‘the Varlands love you, dude, the whole Toronto bullpen has it too. It’s bigger than baseball. We love y’all.’
“Kayla and I, we were very emotional. We were super overwhelmed … the baseball community, the relationships that you make along the way, it showed that was much bigger than baseball. The outpouring of love and support Kayla I’ve had over the past few months, few months, has been unmatched.
“We’re both grateful to not only Dodger nation, but the fans worldwide. My DMs are basically broken on Instagram from all the love and support that we’ve had, I’ve tried to read all the comments and everything because it’s meant the world really.’
While it was difficult for Vesia to leave the team, he knew that his wife and family needed him much more, and watching the World Series together began the healing process.
“For us, in so many ways, that was a light in our darkness,’’ said Vesia, who returned to his Arizona home after the World Series. “I immediately got back into the gym. I started my throwing program. Having something to look forward to has helped me. The gym has been my mental clarity.
“Being around the guys again, preparing for spring training, it’s been really nice. I’ve gotten a lot of love so far in the clubhouse, being able to laugh and joke around. It’s been really nice for me.’
When Dodgers manager Dave Roberts saw Vesia on Thursday for the first time since the tragedy, he hugged him, and they talked for 30 minutes.
“There’s not a whole lot [to say],’’ Roberts said. “You’re just sort of there to help support. That’s something they’ve got to process themselves. … It’s one of those things you can’t even imagine. I can’t think of anything worse.
‘But I do think that getting back to what he loves to do and play baseball, that’s something that’s therapeutic for him.’
Therapy has also been a huge benefit, Vesia says, for him and his wife, strongly recommending counseling to anyone enduring tragedy.
“It hasn’t been easy, but talking to someone, it has made a difference,’ Vesia said. “For those out there who’ve lost a child or are fighting through any struggle, if you can take anything from this, please seek help. Talk to somebody. It’s definitely helped.
“Don’t be afraid to speak up. Your mental health matters. I’ve learned that what happened, what has happened to us, has also happened to so many families. Realizing that has deepened our empathy and our gratitude for this community, the baseball community, is extremely strong. …
“It’s been hard, but we’re doing okay.’
Vesia nodded, looked ahead and then slowly walked back to the Dodgers clubhouse, knowing that his baby girl will never be forgotten, praying and Kayla will one day find comfort and peace.